


Breathe For Me, Won't You?

by TOWTSLeopardPrincess



Series: Eagles Fly [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Poetry, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 04:38:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10937169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TOWTSLeopardPrincess/pseuds/TOWTSLeopardPrincess
Summary: You can't let go of your mask.





	Breathe For Me, Won't You?

**Author's Note:**

> These are the thoughts that I sometimes just want to get off my chest.
> 
> These are the words I'm always afraid to say out loud.
> 
> These are the emotions I only allow myself to feel when I know I am alone.

Lying is like breathing.

Putting on your mask, worn from age

Ripped, torn, shredded, put back together with

Faded duct tape losing its magic,

Dried glue flaking at the edges like dead skin cells.

Your old friend.

That’s what you see it as.

You worry every day if the mask’s not perfect enough to hide the ugliness within.

But the others see it clean, see it good as new,

Are so used to seeing it that if you ever took it off, they wouldn’t recognize you.

Compared to the opera beauty, the dramatic flair,

The happiness, the elastic smile,

You’re disgusting, so obviously, so much that it hurts to look at you,

So you put on the mask.

Day by day.

Night by night.

They say, “How are you?” when your smile slips for a moment

And you think _I feel terrible_

But the mask puts on a grin bigger than the last and says, “I feel wonderful!”

They say, “Are you okay?”

And you think _no, no, no_

But the mask laughs bright and bold and genuine and says, “Of course I am!”

They say, “Do you want to talk?”

And you think _please_

But the mask merely spares them a bemused glance and says, “About what?”

Then they say, “Let me help you.”

And you think _oh…_

Because they know, the mask wasn’t good enough to hide you, and it’s over.

The facade is done, the show has finished,

The mask has fragmented and now everyone can see

How fragile you are inside,

How weak, how stupid, how ugly,

But for some reason,

They’re still there.

They’re holding onto you.

They’re hugging you.

They’re crying into your shoulder— no, no, you must have done something wrong—

Please don’t cry—

Oh.

They’re crying because of you.

They want you to stop hurting.

They want you to let go of the broken mask,

To repeat after them, “I am smart and beautiful and…”

And you can’t do it,

You can’t,

Can’t,

Because none of it is true,

But…

If it makes them stop crying…

Maybe you can say it with them just once,

Just one time,

To stop their tears.

So you say it.

And they smash the mask,

And you don’t feel anything.

You’re just numb.

A shell.

Unsure of what to do with yourself now that you have nowhere to hide.

You’re just a mass of atoms that is somehow worth their tears.

You’re just…

You’re just…

You’re just breathing, because that’s what they’re telling you to do.

You’re just breathing, because that’s what they’re saying.

“Breathe for me, honey.”

You’re just breathing.

“Breathe for me, won’t you?”


End file.
